Hayden Parker & the Thirteen Dwarves
by Unexpected-Adventures
Summary: A Series of One-Shots from my story 'An Unexpected Journey' featuring Hayden Parker. Just a few snippets here and there of the Company's time in England while in Hayden's care. Updated whenever I get hit with the odd spark of inspiration.
1. Of Coffee & Eighties Hits

**OF COFFEE & EIGHTIES HITS**

**For all those who have read/are reading my original fic _An Unexpected Journey, _here's a little One-Shot as a celebration for the start of 2014, which takes place when the Company are still in England. It isn't exactly important to the storyline, but I thought it'd be cute to add an extra snippet of what Hayden went through while hosting for thirteen dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard in her London apartment!**

**Thank you for reading and for supporting my story - Happy New Year!**

* * *

Hayden rose early in the morning, as was her usual habit. Though on this morning the sun seemed to be shining brighter than usual.

Yesterday she had agreed to go to Middle Earth with the Company and Thorin. The idea was exciting, yet extremely daunting at the same time. The thought of spending the rest of her life in the land of her dreams sent butterflies soaring through her stomach, but she knew it would be very different to England.

She dressed quickly into shorts and a shirt. She found herself almost desperate to see Thorin, after being parted with him for the entire night. Surprisingly, the entire Company was awake and bustling about in the kitchen.

"Morning, lass," Bofur grinned.

"Morning," Hayden smiled, "You're all up early."

"When hunger calls," Gloin said, patting his stomach.

Hayden laughed quietly and dodged through the dwarves to the coffee machine.

"Er, Hayden?" Dori called from the sink, "How is it you use this again?"

She moved beside him to reach for the tap, "Just flick it up, remember? And don't turn it or all you'll get is hot water."

"Right," Dori nodded, tilting his head in thanks.

"I don't know how you all survive without plumbing," Hayden muttered.

"Oh it's quite easy," Bofur said, with a playful smirk, "You see we have to actually use our legs to get water, unlike you lazy English folk."

"Well I never," Hayden gasped, feigning hurt. In the past week the Company had been here she had grown close to each of the dwarves in her own way. Bofur had come to tease her quite often, though it was more innocent than Fili and Kili.

Hayden poured her coffee and glared at Bofur mockingly, "So do you actually have hair underneath that hat? Or is it just a massive bald patch?"

Bofur grinned and tilted his head to her, taking off his hat, "Only a head full of hair, I'm afraid."

As Hayden made to pass him, he shoved his hat unceremoniously onto her head and she just about dropped her coffee.

"Hey!"

"It's a good look for you," Bofur smirked.

"Thanks," Hayden said begrudgingly. She flicked the hat up a little so she could still see and made to walk to the bin on the other side of the kitchen, but found her way blocked by Dwalin.

"Lass," Dwalin nodded.

"Dwalin," Hayden smiled brightly, which he didn't return. He always looked so solemn and grumpy. She was quite under the impression he didn't like her very much, but she was determined to break through that tough exterior.

"Did you have a good sleep?" Hayden asked casually.

"Yes," Dwalin nodded.

Hayden waited for him to elaborate on that, rocking on the balls of her feet. When he didn't she tried her best to make conversation, ignoring his stare that made her feel as if he were staring right into her soul.

"You know you remind me of Conan," Hayden said, looking him over, "You have the whole macho warrior thing going on."

Dwalin cocked an eyebrow, "Is that meant to be a compliment?"

"If you took it that way, then yes," Hayden grinned, "I could imagine you sitting on Conan's throne, you know."

She leant back slightly in her stance to imitate someone lounging in a chair and adopted a low gravely voice.

"Kill him, and her – none shall live," Hayden growled low, "He _smiled_? Kill him too."

A few of the dwarves behind her stifled snickers at her impression. Dwalin however, was not impressed.

"Mind if I have a quick word?" Dwalin asked stiffly, completely ignoring her joke. He gestured back to the laundry behind him.

"Sure," Hayden nodded.

She followed him into the secluded room and he closed the door after her. He then proceeded to stare at her.

"So… what's up?" Hayden asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You are coming to Middle Earth with us," Dwalin stated.

"I am," Hayden nodded, hiding a smile.

"And you are to accompany Thorin," Dwalin said. Though again it sounded more like a statement than a question.

"Yes, unless something has changed since last night?" Hayden asked worriedly. Come to think of it she hadn't seen Thorin that morning, or Fili and Kili.

"No," Dwalin said stiffly, "But I am curious… what your motifs are?"

"My what?" Hayden asked blankly.

"Why do you wish to come with us?" Dwalin asked, crossing his arms stiffly.

"I'm still not sure I know what you mean?" Hayden frowned.

"You are a smart lass, Hayden," Dwalin said, "You are aware of our world, our Company, our Quest… our _lineage_."

"Yes…" Hayden said uncertainly.

"So you are aware of what _position_ Thorin would be in should we reclaim Erebor," Dwalin said.

"Well yes, he'd be King-" Hayden said and stopped abruptly, suddenly realizing where he was going with this. "Oh no Dwalin, I know what you're thinking but believe me I'm not interested in Thorin for _that_-"

"Oh, you aren't?" Dwalin cocked an eyebrow. He stepped forward slowly and glared at her, "I happen to know Thorin is very taken by you. I have never before seen him act the way he does around you."

Hayden smiled slightly.

"And if you were to be feigning love for him just to acquire a high status-"

"Alright, Dwalin I get where you're coming from," Hayden said quickly, her own annoyance growing, "I know you care very much for Thorin but so do I. I mean honestly, do you think I really want to be Queen? Can you imagine _me_ walking two steps behind a _man_ for the rest of my life?"

Dwalin frowned but stayed silent.

"But I love Thorin and if that's what I need to sacrifice to be with him then I'll do it," Hayden said proudly.

Dwalin nodded and hid a small smile, "That was all I needed to hear."

He tilted his head to her again and left the room, leaving Hayden in a stunned silence.

"You look as if you've seen a ghost," a deep voice commented behind her.

Hayden's heart skipped a beat when she saw Thorin in the doorway and she smiled brightly.

"Oh that," Hayden said, shrugging, "It's nothing."

"You slept well I trust?" Thorin asked. He stepped closer to her, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Very well," Hayden smiled, "You?"

"I can think of one thing missing," Thorin smirked lightly.

He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips lightly over hers.

"Hayden?" Thorin murmured between kisses.

"Mm?"

"Why are you wearing Bofur's hat?"

"Oh," Hayden broke away and quickly pulled the hat off her head, flushing in embarrassment, "No reason."

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Thorin asked softly.

"This is my breakfast," Hayden said, holding up her coffee mug.

"Surly not," Thorin frowned, "You need to eat."

"No I don't," Hayden shrugged, "I'm never that hungry in the mornings."

"It is no wonder you are so small," Thorin tutted, "You need some meat on you, woman."

He prodded her sides playfully with his fingers and she laughed, swatting him away.

"I happen to be very happy with my body," she said proudly.

"You should be," Thorin murmured huskily. He leaned forward and wrapped an arm around her waist, his hand venturing lower to grab her behind.

"You get more venturous by the day," Hayden said, trying to control her breathing.

Thorin chuckled softly and leant in to capture her lips, but she pulled away with a regretful sigh.

"Not now, I have to go eat," she said, "Like you said, I need breakfast."

She pulled away from his wandering hands with a triumphant smirk and left him stunned in the laundry.

"Good morning, Hayden," Bilbo smiled warmly.

"Morning, Bilbo," Hayden smiled back, "Sleep well?"

"I did," Bilbo nodded. "Oh, and before I forget." He pulled a wooden spoon from his coat pocket and handed it to her.

"Nori?" she sighed. The dwarf had been trying to steal things from her apartment as soon as the Company had arrived.

Bilbo nodded, "Found it under his pillow."

"Well, thank you-" she broke off with a surprised squeal as someone popped up behind her.

"Kili!" she growled. She spun around and began whacking him hard with the wooden spoon, "Don't-do-that!"

Kili snorted with laughter, "Alright – have mercy!"

She huffed and stalked away from him, but not before giving him another hard whack in the stomach. She dodged over the sleeping bags and pillows on the floor and swiped the remote from her coffee table, turning on the television.

"You're not going to put on more of that _Animal Planet_ are you?" Oin complained, "If I have to watch one more clip of a snake's poo I'll yack."

"That's just lovely, Oin," Hayden grimaced.

She flicked through the channels and landed on a music station, where they were playing the Top 100 Hits of the 1980s.

"Ooh, 80s music," Hayden smiled, pleased there was finally something decent on television.

"What do you mean by 80s?" Ori asked.

"The 1980s," Hayden said, "It was a decade only… hm, only thirty years ago, but the music was much to different to what it is now."

She turned up the volume so that Bob Seger's 'Old Time Rock & Roll' played through the house.

"You can't even hear what he's saying," Gloin said, nodding to the screen.

"Well that doesn't matter," Hayden said, "Just listen to the tune."

She threw the remote back onto the table and shoved Bofur's hat back on his head.

"Come help me, Bofur," Hayden said, "I'll need a hand in the kitchen."

"'Course," Bofur smiled, jumping up and following her.

"Gloin's right you know," Bofur said, as he and Hayden began to prepare breakfast, "You can't understand a word he's saying."

"Oh, stop complaining," Hayden said, "It's music."

They continued to bustle around the kitchen, while the song changed to 'My Girl' by the Temptations.

Hayden began to sing along quietly, tapping her foot slightly to the rhythm. She didn't notice Bofur watching her from the corner of his eye with a sly smirk.

"See now, this one is better," Bofur said, "At least you can hear the words."

Hayden just smiled and continued with her business.

As the chorus of the song came along, she spun around Bofur to his other side to get to the sink and the dwarf laughed.

"You like this song?" he asked.

"Love it," Hayden smiled.

Soon enough Bofur had caught onto the lyrics and began singing along with her. He had an amazing voice, even for a dwarf. They twisted and turned with the rhythm of the song and Hayden laughed. She hadn't ever had this much fun cooking.

As the last chorus began Bofur finally took Hayden's hand and twirled her around the kitchen playfully, both of them singing and laughing.

Hayden could have no idea that Thorin was leaning on the wall behind her only just hidden from view. He was watching her intently with a small smile, his gaze never leaving her. He noted the way her eyes seemed to light up when she smiled or laughed, the way her hips swayed and legs moved as she danced.

He could not be happier that she was coming home with him, or that soon he could finally make her his forever.


	2. Of Cars & Guest Appearances

**OF CARS & GUEST APPEARANCES**

**I came up with idea of this one shot at work of all places! See if you can pick the guests appearance from a certain character I hope you'll all recognise :) **

**This special one shot is dedicated to my late grandmother's Toyota Corolla, which I recently had to sell.**

* * *

"Alright, who's seen my purse?" Hayden huffed.

She stuck her head out of her room and peered into the lounge room. Of course, the Company were all too busy to have heard her, eyes glued to the television or trying to wrap their head around a not-so-complicated electronic device.

Hayden rolled her eyes and retreated back to her room to slip on some shoes and grab her bag. Shockingly, she was wearing a dress for the day, to make the most of the rare warm weather.

She _may_ just have spent an extra twenty minutes on her appearance… maybe thirty… at most, forty… okay, so maybe it was closer to an hour-

"Hayden?" Bilbo called from outside the door, knocking softly.

"One second," she said. She fixed her hair for the last time and straightened her dress before exiting her room.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"When you are," Bilbo said, with a small growing smile, "You look very nice today."

"Well, thank you," Hayden grinned, "It's known to happen at times."

Bilbo laughed and followed her down the corridor to the lounge room.

"So where are we going again?" he asked.

"To town for a while," she said, "I've only got a few errands to run. Oh, and I should stop by my landlords house too…"

"That's fine with me," Bilbo said, "I'm rather interested to see what the world looks like outside your apartment."

"You'll love it," she smiled, "Oh, but before we go Emily is coming past to pick up the car."

"Ah, yes," Bilbo nodded, "She finally decided to take it from you?"

"Yeah, took a bit of convincing but she's taking it," Hayden smiled, "And the computer too."

Perhaps there was something odd in her smile, because Bilbo began to watch her curiously. She cleared her throat abruptly and began to look around the room for her purse.

"Where the hell did it-?" she stopped abruptly.

She caught sight of Kili, curled up on the couch sniggering at something in his lap.

"Hey, Parker," he grinned, holding up a small plastic card, "Is this you?"

"_Kili_-" Hayden growled. She practically ran over to him and snatched the card out of his hand, along with her purse.

"It's a nice picture," Kili snickered.

"Shut up," she growled, "No one's driver's licence picture is good."

"Well in that case, _I_ would definitely be the exception," Kili said, lounging back and grinning in a way that made him look carelessly handsome.

"Whatever," she said, glaring at him as she shoved her purse into her bag.

She stalked away from him, ignoring his quiet giggles.

"Alright, last chance – anyone else wanna come with me?" she asked, while fumbling through her bag.

There were a few "nah's" grunted around the room and various shaking heads. Hayden sighed in exasperation – thank goodness they were leaving soon or she would have been scared to lose them to technology.

"Lead the way, Bilbo," she said, throwing him the keys. "The red one's for the front door."

Bilbo nodded and disappeared to go to the front door and wait for her by the car. Hayden lingered behind and frowned down at the cardboard box, which held her computer. When she put on the dress she hadn't thought through the whole _bending down_ process.

Smoothing the back of the skirt down she bent down with her knees and hoisted the box up with her knee, thankfully without flashing the entire male Company.

It wasn't unbearably heavy, but enough for her to make a strained face when carrying it.

"You're going to do yourself an injury," Thorin said. He had somehow managed to appear in front of her without her knowing, possibly while she was planning a decent descent to the ground.

"I can manage," she said, her voice slightly strained, "I had to lift it into the apartment when I moved in."

Thorin smiled slightly and took the box from her arms without a word. Hayden didn't protest, though she did make a slightly exasperated face towards him as he carried the box with ease out the front door.

When he practically skipped down the steps, Hayden resisted the urge to scoff out loud. Only he could act like a 15-kilogram box weighed the same amount as a feather.

"Where do you want it?" he asked, watching her descend the steps down to the car.

"The boot, please," she said, taking the keys off Bilbo.

The lights of the car flashed as she unlocked it and went to pull the lever on the back to open the boot. She stepped back to give Thorin room and he placed it gently into the space.

"Your friend," he said, as she shut the boot, "She is coming to collect the car?"

Hayden nodded, "She should be here soon."

"Good," he said, "So you will be walking to town then?"

"Yes…" she said uncertainly, "Why? What's wrong with my car?"

"I… find it rather difficult to trust such a machine," he said, "Particularly with your life."

"Well you've never actually been in it have you," she pointed out, "Thorin everyone who drives has to sit a test."

"That does not make them good," he said grimly.

"Well thankfully for you, I'm good enough," she said, "I've been driving since I was a sixteen, I know what I'm doing."

"I know _you_ do," he said exasperatedly. He looked over the car with a small frown. "Why was she so reluctant to take it? Your friend Emily?"

"They're expensive, so I guess she just felt bad taking it without paying anything. But it's not like I could use the money where we're going anyway," Hayden explained, "She wouldn't take it at first but I managed to persuade her."

She smiled and casted a glance over her car, patting it absentmindedly.

"Are you sad about giving it away?" Thorin asked curiously.

Hayden tore her eyes away from the car and shrugged, "I guess… you know it was the first real thing I bought for myself."

Thorin smiled and continued to watch her carefully as she lent against the car as if it were her best friend.

"I saw it in front of a house when I was walking by one day," she explained, smiling to herself, "The owner was some old Irish guy who'd wanted to get rid of it. Somehow I managed to persuade him to hold it for me until I saved up enough money, and as soon as I had I bought it."

"How long has it been since then?" Thorin asked.

"Five years," Hayden said, shaking her head and patting the car again, "It looks pretty shitty you know, but it's a good car."

Thorin began to frown concernedly and he made to say something, until he was interrupted by a vibrant hello.

"Hayden!" Emily called. She ran across the road with a wide smile, launching herself into Hayden's arms with a loud laugh.

"Oof! Hi to you too, Em," Hayden smiled, patting her back.

Emily parted from her and shook her head, "I can't believe you! Leaving me here and running off to _America_. And with a _guy_-"

Hayden cleared her throat and nodded in Thorin's direction before Emily could say anything more.

"Oh… hello," Emily smiled, waving slightly to Thorin.

"Hello," Thorin said, "We have met before, I believe."

"We have?" Emily frowned.

"Yes, at the gathering," he said, "You were… rather _close_ to my nephew at the time."

"Oh… _oh_," Emily blinked, turning a fast shade of red. "Right… not my proudest moment."

Before Thorin could agree with her, which Hayden could see he was about to do, she quickly cleared her throat.

"So, the car's all ready to go," she said, "And the computer's in the boot."

"You're a blessing, Hayden," Emily smiled. She looked over the car, with what Thorin noticed to be the same expression Hayden had worn.

"Do you mind if we… sit in it for a bit?" she asked Hayden, "You know, for old times sake?"

Hayden shrugged and nodded. Smiling to Thorin as she passed, she slipped into the driver's seat and shut the door.

"Oh god, how _embarrassing _was that," Emily whispered, obviously mortified. "Here I am thinking I'm gonna make a wonderful first impression and he basically saw me screwing his nephew."

"Don't worry about it," Hayden shrugged, "He doesn't take it personally."

"So… the hot blonde I was with looked about our age," Emily observed, "Yet he is Thorin's _nephew_. Tell me Hayden, how old is your squeeze exactly?"

Hayden faltered slightly, "He's uh… you know he looks older because of the hair and beard. He's… thirty… five."

"_Thirty-five_?" Emily repeated incredulously, "He has _grey_ hairs, Hayden."

"Hey, some people go grey when they're teenagers," Hayden pointed out, "It's just genetics."

"Alright, so what about the whole brooding thing he's got going on?" Emily asked curiously, "And his _eyes_, God. When I looked at him I felt like he was reading my freaking soul."

"Yeah he gets… pretty deep I guess," Hayden said, "But he's been through a lot… I think that's why we click so well."

Emily smiled and lent closer, "So what's it really? Is he rich? Or is it the _other_ reason?"

"What _other_-?" Hayden stopped and sighed, "We haven't even done _that_ yet, so I wouldn't know."

"Oh, but you know that he's well hung, I bet you," Emily smirked. Hayden gaped horrendously. "Oh come on! Just look at him! Those biceps and thighs… you can just _tell_ he's hiding something-"

"Can we change topics _please_," Hayden said quickly, covering her burning face.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Emily smiled, "I'm gonna miss you, Hay. You promise you'll keep in contact?"

Hayden's smile faltered, "I- I'll try… I promise, I'll try."

Emily nodded and gave her a said smile before pulling her into a tight hug. They stayed close for a moment, and Hayden tried to soak up these last moments. She knew this was goodbye forever when they parted.

"Alright," Hayden said, clearing her throat, "Let's get you out of here, then."

They both stepped out of their own doors and met near the car boot. Thorin had moved over to talk to Bilbo, so as to give the girls some space to say goodbye.

"Well, here you go," Hayden said, handing over the keys, "Take care of her."

"I will, Hay," Emily smiled. She nudged Hayden in the arm and smiled once more before taking Hayden's place in the driver's seat.

She wound down the window to wave goodbye as she drove away, leaving the parking space in front of her apartment empty for the first time in five years. Hayden stood there for a few moments, feeling slightly empty as she watched her two closest companions leave.

"Hayden?" Thorin asked, approaching her cautiously.

Hayden moved her gaze from the road to him. He was smiling softly with his hand outstretched to her. That in itself managed to cheer her up. She was reminded why she had given them up, her car and friend, and suddenly it wasn't all that bad.

"I'm fine," she said quickly, giving him a small smile, "Bilbo and I should get going if we're going to get back before dark."

"Aye," Thorin nodded, "Be careful, please."

"_Me_? Be careful?" Hayden scoffed, "Why, I have nothing to worry about with the world's greatest burglar at my side."

Bilbo gave a shallow laugh and mockingly glared at her.

"See you later," she said to Thorin.

"I'll be waiting," Thorin said, the edges of his mouth twitching in a small smile.

He lent over to press a chaste kiss to her lips, to which Hayden savored every second of. Had Bilbo not been present she may have encouraged him for more, but she didn't want to mentally scar the hobbit.

She waved and smiled over her shoulder to Thorin as her and Bilbo began the short trek to the city. It happened to be the same route her and Thorin had taken on the very first night the Company had arrived, when they had set out with the challenge to find enough food for sixteen people.

Though Hayden found it a lot less nerve wrecking than walking with Thorin. She could walk in ease, not having to worry about whether her hair looked nice or if she had said the right thing. They talked, they laughed and Hayden found herself rather like a tour guide for the hobbit, who took in everything she told him – from her explanations of the history of a building to which café's made the best coffee.

"Oh! Do you mind if we stop here?" Hayden asked, halting in front of a DVD store, "We need to pick a few movies to watch tonight."

"I think you should choose," Bilbo said, following as they entered the store, "I fear any choice of mine will be met with great displeasure."

"Oh, don't mind them," Hayden shrugged, "Choose whatever one you want."

Still with doubts, Bilbo and Hayden walked in opposite directions, looking over the various movie covers in the store. Bilbo found few that were of interest to him – he found he preferred books much more to these "_movies_."

The hobbit soon found himself at the opposite end of the store, where he recognised a few movies Hayden had shown him. He had picked up one of interest and was reading the blurb, when someone knocked into him. He was nudged forward slightly and the DVD fell from his hand.

"Oh, sorry man," the boy said, holding out an arm to steady himself. "You alright?"

"Yes, I am fine thank you," Bilbo said.

"Here, let me get that," the boy said. He bent down to pick up the DVD and handed it back to Bilbo, flicking his unruly brown hair out of his face as he did so.

"That's a good movie," he said, as Bilbo took the case back, "But if I were to recommend something…"

The boy held up a finger and shuffled over to the shelf next to them. He picked up a DVD and handed it to Bilbo. The case read _The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey_.

"A fantastic movie," he said, "I prefer the book personally, but hey you might enjoy it."

Bilbo smiled, "Yes… I suppose I might. Thank you."

"No problem," the boy said, flashing a wide grin.

Bilbo frowned and found himself forgetting all manners, staring openly at the boy. What was it about him that looked so… familiar? The bright smile, brown hair, soft chocolate eyes…

"See you around, man. Enjoy the movie," he said. He clapped Bilbo on the shoulder and left the hobbit standing slightly bemused.

"Everything alright, Bilbo?" Hayden asked. She peered over at him and frowned.

"Yes… um, fine," Bilbo said, turning around to try see where the boy had gone but he was no where to be found.

"Have you chosen a movie?" Hayden asked, peering at the DVD's in his hand. She laughed out loud when she saw _The Hobbit_ in his grasp. "I should've known you'd pick that out."

"You've seen this movie?" Bilbo asked curiously.

"'Course I have. It's a great movie," Hayden smiled, "Though personally I prefer the book."

"Yes, I've heard the book is preferred," Bilbo said, with a small smile.

Hayden frowned bemusedly at him, but decided to shake it off.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Hayden said, "Hopefully the apartment is still standing when we get back."

She grinned brightly to him before heading off in the direction of the register, her long brown hair swaying behind her.

Bilbo shook his head and clapped himself on the forehead roughly to shake himself from his thoughts. He truly could not wait until they were back in Middle Earth – a world that actually made _sense_.


End file.
